Black Coffee and Grey Stories

This is Going to Hurt By Adam Kay

To write or to read. This one is a constant and extremely real struggle in my daily life. And I am not ashamed to say that reading wins a tiny bit more than writing. But sometimes I come across certain books that only inspire me to continue writing. Like the one, I recently finished in a record time of 3 days. Here I would like to explain that I have kids aged 6 and 9, along with a full-time job, where I am away from them for 40 hours a week. So, I am anyways in perpetual guilt (with writing or reading just adding to that guilt).

A few weeks ago, I saw a random YouTube video recommendation for a tv show titled, “This is going to hurt”, based on the book of the same title by Adam Kay. And so, after a quick Goodreads search, the book was added to the list of want-to-read books. And when I found it at a big ass grocery store, I picked it up as a sign (refer to an older blog about how obsessed I am with signs, and yes, I loved the movie, Signs.)

This was the dedication page. And I honestly laughed reading it during lunchtime for 2 minutes straight. The 15 minutes break I chose to start the book was the most rejuvenating moment spent laughing. I even forgot to make the daily afternoon call to my girls. In my defense, they were either busy with Netflix or fighting over a piece broken head of a doll, so I’m sure they will forgive me this time.

Now coming back to the book. I have laughed on every page, no every paragraph. I so badly felt like sharing the jokes with another human who might have read the book or is/was a doctor just because I wanted to. That I left LOLs and HAHAHAH every time I spent a minute laughing. Then came the moment I always dread reading about. Because it triggers my own trauma that I live with every single moment of my life. The loss of a child is no matter of discussion over tea or three drinks of Bacardi. I cannot talk about her. Yet, when I read about a similar experience that another Human (fictional or non-fictional), it tears open every wound I have tried healing with almost everything possible. Okay, so I really loved the book.

The writing is simple, funny, and truly expressive. Even when Kay is joking about how the profession ends his relationships he tries so hard to hold on to (or maybe not hard enough), it breaks your heart. His ability to joke in the most serious situations to lighten up the writing kept me engrossed. Obviously, I have no understanding of medical terms, so the definitions made it easier to understand how immensely exhausting and tough it is to pronounce any of those terms let alone remember the correct definition. And just today, while watching Grey’s Anatomy when Jo comes across shoulder dystocia, I was slightly unconvinced how smoothly she was able to do the McRoberts maneuver. So, Grey’s Anatomy needs to try harder because now I know more (Lol!)

I personally have a huge love and respect for doctors. I have been lucky enough to have come across some of the best ones in the tough moments of my life. And strangely, my OB/GYN knows me more deeply than anyone at the moment. I mean she is the one who diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I have cried in front of her for no reason at all for consecutive appointments, sat in her office after a yearly appointment without saying a word or feeling guilty about wasting her precious time. Because that is how amazing she is. She has made me feel relevant even when no one else did. Yeah, I love Doctors.

Some of my favorite lines from the book were,

“I’m all for explaining terminology as we go along, but if you don’t know what a stethoscope is, this is probably a book to regift.”

 ‘You don’t cure depression, the same way you don’t cure asthma; you manage it.’

“I like operating on patients’ vaginas,” which at least ended the conversation quickly.

“I’m Cinderella in scrubs.”

Read the book and you understand how difficult the journey to becoming a doctor truly is. And how even after years of studying and practice, still there is not much in the end. And aren’t we all struggling to keep up with personal sanity along with our highly demanding professional life, so cut some slack to the ones whose job is all about saving yours. It is 5 stars for me. Colloquial and honest. Not at all preachy but raw.

Also, I have been planning an extremely awesome imaginary dinner party with my favorite creative human beings. And Adam Kay has made it to the guest list after this book. I have a feeling he and Fredrick Backman  can be really good friends. Cannot wait for the party! Until then, I will always have writing & reading and Mom-guilt to keep me busy with a side of French press.