“The Blur”

I am alive. I know I am. I breathe in and then out. A cough accompanies the one trying to get out. So, this is what blood tastes like. The back of the sleeve as seen in movies is quite a good way to wipe the eyes and bleeding nose. I stand up limping and dragging the twisted foot. The stench of the road is all over my clothes. What happened to me? There is someone behind, I can feel the presence. I turn my stiffened neck to see him screaming in pain or anger, my ears are betraying me at this moment.The stones on the road pinch my bare feet and I wonder when did my shoes come off?

It is all a blur. I came outside for a smoke. I was with Kavya. No, she went back inside the club after a quick drag, and I stayed to finish the damn cigarette. I cough some more blood, this time spitting the excess on the road. I have to keep walking. I cannot afford to panic now. I am still breathing, so I cannot give up now. I must save myself. The scary ordeal is over, I just need to get somewhere safe.

I step on shit, definitely shit. And then I remember. I was hit on the back of my head. No, cannot be. How did I let this happen? How could I have stayed out alone smoking in the nighttime? My head is pounding, and my eyes are burning with anger. I am always so alert every time I go out clubbing with the group. Non-drinker, therefore, the official driver. Pepper spray and swiss knife are my bag condiments.

But what happened after that? I need to remember it all.  I turn around to check on the silent blur behind me. He is still quite close by. He is screaming but his noise is far away from my footsteps. I touch my left ear looking for the silver jhoomkis (earrings) and there it is more blood. Aarrghh!

I remind myself to keep walking. No time to give up now. I must get somewhere safe. Or look for help.

This time I look straight ahead. The pains and taste of blood are too familiar now to scare me. And my ears finally begin to perform their required task. I can hear again. Someone is nearby. Yet it is all blur. I stop to take in one more deep breath and limp forward.

The blur is getting closer. I can hear his voice. Why can I hear him but not the screams of the one I poked in the eyes and kicked in the groin? Maybe he is trying to save his manhood, whatever is left of it? #######, fucking #######. Damn, I should learn more curse words. Almost there, and then I will ask for help. No don’t walk away, please don’t. I need you. The blur ahead is getting ready to walk away. I need to scream. I must, or else I am dead. The blur behind me will get up any moment and this time he will kill me. I am no bodybuilder tough girl I only hurt him where I knew it will work.

The blur is so close now, but why is he turning away? I know him, wait stop. Oh God, I know him. Why can’t I just call him back. It is him. Hey, you, I see you now clearly. I know it is you. Please don’t go. I need you. Please help me.

The blur turned around. He saw me. Wait where is he looking? What is behind me? The fucking #######? I trip on something touching my face on his legs. He ran to stop the one behind me. So many blurs around my head. Where did they all come from? Where is he? I search faces and finally rest my eyes on him. It is him. His reassuring smile and touch are the same. I see him clearly, no more blurs.

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