“Confessions of a sister”

The following poem is inspired from a book I recently read titled, “White Ghost Girls” by Alice Greenway. I am not someone who reviews books. I simply fall in love with every book I read. For each one is a piece of diligence and passion. The following poem is a small dedication to the book. I must warn there are spoilers, so if you are planning to read the book, then stop reading this blog post. If not, then read away!

I miss you, Frankie

You were my best friend, my soul sister.

Afternoons spent playing on the beach

Sneaking away to secret hideouts to listen to father’s taped stories

No one saw us, we were the ‘white ghost girls’ to the world

Mother was too scared to mess up her marriage

And Father was busy covering the war to truly notice us

No one saw us, we had the superpower to be Invisible…

I keep our memories safe in my heart, no one is allowed to touch us there

But I wish I could erase one of them.

The one that destroyed us…

We were only kids, the ‘white ghost girls’.

You don’t believe me, I know

But I ran that day for you. I ran to keep you alive

“you shouldn’t have left me alone” is all you said when I came back trying to breathe under my tears

We both were hurt…

I never saw your bruises; you hid them well.

You blamed me for what happened to you

And I blamed the world for putting us in a situation where I was left to save my older sister.

None of us slept anymore

Fighting nightmares and demons we encountered that one day…

You built a wall after that day even one between us.

A wall of brutal honesty and long silences

The once rationed water was now all yours

For I don’t know why you scrubbed yourself so hard

You never looked dirty. You were pretty as always…

I gave up trying to understand you after that night,

when you let that boy use you for his pleasure

I stopped asking after that night

But you still told me things I did not want to hear

For they made no sense to me because they were incomplete confessions

I could see the desperation in your eyes

Each time your cheeks turned pale and your eyes sunk deep in tears,

I knew you wanted dad all for yourself

Did you confess to him? Anything…

You left, leaving me to grow and live

I know you punished me for leaving you alone ‘that day’

I was a child myself and had no idea what happened to you

You never confessed your demons

But I will confess mine, one last time

I am sorry, I should have spoken up

Screamed, shouted, yelled out loud

Even if it was only my truth

Maybe it would have saved both of us

“If you are happy here, why wasn’t Frankie?”

Father’s words still haunt me

And I still don’t know how to tell him the truth

Maybe it is for the better

He already lives with the pain of losing you.

We all do.

I miss you Frankie…

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