“I Wonder”

I wonder if they wonder

Every time I leave the room,

I wonder if I am bid goodbye with ‘Smirks’.

Each time I enter a conversation,

I wonder if I am welcomed with a ‘Sigh’.

And what happens when I talk too much

I wonder if there is ‘restlessness’ in the room

A hurry to see me ‘quiet down’.

And then when I don’t talk,

I wonder if they think I am too dumb to contribute to the conversation.

When I show an emotion different from others,

I wonder if I come across as the weak one going with the flow.

All those nights I choose my books over people to converse with

I wonder if they think I am too self-absorbed to care for anyone else

I want to stop ‘the wonder’

I am quiet because I am trying to listen

I talk too much because I have been quiet too long

I look lost because I am trying to remember a memory so special that reminds me the same feeling I am having in your company

I think differently because I am evolving

I am not stagnant but exploring a world so new and enlightening

But today I am quiet mostly because I am trying to remember who I was before I started to ‘wonder’ so much.

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